Three ways I get the shopper’s high without spending
“Shopping contains the future… Shopping is hope.” — Abigail Thomas, _A Three Dog Life_
As someone who embraces small space living, I like to think I have some minimalist street cred.
And yet.
Like an addict who just can’t help herself, when I’m stressed or lonely I get the shopping shakes. Some nights I find myself glued to the computer scanning etsy for yet another pair of earrings. I gain hope from the thought that I could get a new pair of boots and reinvent myself.
As Abigail Thomas says in her lovely memoir A Three Dog Life, “Shopping contains the future… Shopping is hope.”
Why Shopping Makes Us Feel Good
When I was out of work and broke in 2008, the shopping cravings didn’t go away. Actually, with my high level of restlessness and feelings of powerlessness over my life, my obsession with shopping only intensified.
I started wondering how to satisfy those cravings for new things without going to the store. I had to ask myself, what needs does shopping fulfill for me?
At that time, shopping was a mental break, a time of rest from my job problems.
It was a feeling of power after a long day of being told, “We got 500 other resumes for this position, sorry.”
And yes, it was hope. When I shopped, I got to entertain delightful fantasies: “Once I buy this new waffle maker, I’ll make waffles every Saturday and it will be so much fun!”
With no money and no desire to live on etsy or amazon, I had to find an alternative. How could I capture the benefits of shopping — a break from my troubles, feeling of power, hope — without actually doing it?
Get the Shopping High Without Shopping?
Ultimately, I found three non-shopping methods of meeting my own needs.
Stop 1: Creating.
A few times when I got the shopping shakes, I found myself in the kitchen experimenting, or drawing, or writing stories at my dining room table. Somehow these challenges eased my restlessness:
- The mental energy of the task gave me a much needed break from worrying about money.
- The growing confidence as problem-solved gave me a sense of fluency and thus power.
- The anticipation of eating the dish met my need for hope. Even better, I’d fantasize about showing my discoveries to friends next time I saw them.
Another phrase for beating restlessness through creating is “shopping my cupboards for what I already have.”
Stop 2: My local library
During that tough time, the library became my sanctuary. Where else could I walk in empty-handed and walk out with armfuls of stuff, for free?
Walking the 6 blocks between my apartment and the city library became a trip full of anticipation as I wondered what treasures I’d discover this week. Often I wandered the aisles, pulled out books, put them back… literally “browsing without buying.”
Distraction from my problems? Check. A feeling of infinite choice and “purchasing power”? Check. Fantasizing excitedly about how much I’d enjoy the items? Check.
Stop 3: My neighborhood
When I lived in Brooklyn, I was fascinated by all the architecture, particularly the doors. I used to “collect” doors on my long walks around the neighborhood.
This type of treasure-hunting is a great way to capture the feeling of shopping. That “thrill of the hunt” feeling can come on you unexpectedly as you look for one more cute dog or one more pre-1900 church to complete your “collection.”
A motto for my 2019 is less spectating, more doing. I want to spend less time watching people dance on TV and more time dancing myself. I want to fantasize less about getting more stuff and instead dedicate time to enjoying what I already have.
What does shopping mean to you? If you were going to shop less and live more, what would you do instead?
I relate very well with the public library experience.